Dear Octopus

Dos is dos.

2012-02-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Cashy,

You are two. Two. Two!

You are my willful, loud, brash, loving, not-a-baby, baby. There are so many ways to describe you, but I know in these 24 months I have only scratched the surface. There is so much more to learn and love about you, and being my second born, I have learned not to rush to figure you out. I love that you are such a mystery. What will you be? Why don't you speak? Why are you so unnervingly smart?

You are my one man parade. Announcing yourself with shouts and taunts. You are usually armed with celebratory items--balls, cars, blankets, shoes, food. Your smile, laugh, and hug is a joy for all to behold.

You are the child that makes everyone love you in a different way; there are so many facets to your personality. With Bradley you are a playmate, a pupil, a little brother, a tormentor, an experiment, an audience.

For Daddy you are rough and tumble, unafraid of his tools and the noises they make; you empowered him by letting him be your favorite for the first 20 months of your life. You are two peas in a pod.

I've told you before that you taught me how to really be a mom--you were an unexpected, challenging, 180-degree turn from your brother. And even though it took you awhile to warm-up to me, we are best friends and have so many fun secrets, rituals, and ways to cuddle.

Little boy, know that we will always love you. No matter how many windows or hearts you break, we will always be here for you. You will be a strong leader and personality someday, and I promise no matter how far you venture out or how large the crowd is around you, we will always be at your side.

Loving you forever and a day,

Mama, Dadda, and B

Bestie update

2012-01-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

Erin recently finished her chemo and radiation treatments. Girlfriend was a trooper while carrying around a fanny pack for 6 weeks. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Her doctors will decide in 4 weeks whether she will have surgery. And it's a good thing she has four weeks, because in a couple weeks we have some living to do in Vegas. Cancer took her away from Black Friday shopping. I'll be damned if it will come between us and our Vegas birthday trip!

There is still a little more to come, but Erin said it best tonight that there is a sense of a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a HORRIBLE pun considering the circumstances, but HILARIOUS when taking into account our awful sense of humor.

Cancer sucks, but seriously, Erin has made it look effortless. The bitch didn't even lose her hair and she is now 3 lbs from her goal weight.

Since I didn't get a picture of her with her fanny pack, this is basically what it looked like.

Just for the LOLs.

Dos is almost two

2012-01-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

My baby. Remember I called him Dos foevah ago?

He is doing this now.

And apparently dieting and watching his cholesterol.

He is practically grown up.

Taking on the 1%

2012-01-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

I fought The Man. And I won.

I have been staging an epic battle for a couple months against Wells Fargo and I'd like to take a minute to beat my chest.

Long story short: I was not provided a refund. If you want to read the long story, here is a screen shot from my complaint to the Better Business Bureau--which is also the same letter I sent to every corporate person I could Google. (God Bless, the Googs.)

A week later I got this.

I am so gloating.

PS- If any of you know Megan, please send her a link to this blog. TYVM.

I'm just a ray of sunshine.

2012-01-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

The bestie and I planned our joint retirement party via Google chat today. I suppose it's okay that we aren't at the same school as long as we have Google chat.

Our retirement party will be Vegas themed, of course. And immediately after we eat our cake--I imagine them to be playing cards with our faces on it and the number of years worked in either hearts or diamonds--we will jet off to Vegas.

Alas, we have miles to go.

January is particularly torturous. After spending money like fiends, we go on a budget. After baking and eating like it's 1999, we diet and exercise. After having two weeks off from the classroom and no essays to speak of, we are thrown into the longest month of the year. Long and painful is January.

I miss waking up when 2nd hour should be starting. I miss making fresh lunches rather than the leftovers in my mini-fridge. I miss getting to plan whatever activities I want with my favorite people.

This was the last night before school started back. Zoo Lights!

Joseph, Baby Will, the other Jeff D., Jessi

Thank god for the Wheat Thins. They were the only thing keeping him in the wagon.

Resolutions

2012-01-05T17:00:00.000-07:00

I usually don't make resolutions. I feel they are just a list of the first things I will fail at in the New Year. I know, I am such a ray of sunshine.

This year, Jeff and I decided to make family resolutions, because...well, if you're going to fail, do it as a group. No, actually, we realize there are a LOT of things we could improve upon as a family and the new year gave us a reason to scratch the surface.

Here we go.

1. We will be better friends. Jeff and I are hermits by nature. Two months after we had B, our parents practically staged an intervention to get us to come out of the house. It's a miracle, but we have a lot of awesome friends and they often want us to hang out.

Our first resolution is to dedicate more time to all our friends. We have designated Friday nights to be our night to socialize at home in the form of drive-way drinks (awww, the suburbs, right?) or a time for us to try out a new restaurant with our peeps.

2. We will be organized with chores. After 4pm you will often find us in the living room parked in front of a TV, laptop, or phone. It's not very productive or inspiring. Yes, we are exhausted, but there are so many other things we could be doing. We noticed we spend more time on the weekends running errands, picking up the house, or doing last minute planning for the week, when we could spread it out over the week.

We've designated each day of the week with some household chore so we don't spend our well-earned weekend working just as hard. Mondays are for cleaning bedrooms, Tuesdays we take care of the floors, Wednesdays are bathrooms, Thursdays we take care of the upstairs, Fridays we take care of the downstairs, Saturdays are for the garage and/or yard, and Sunday is laundry. We will also meal plan on Sundays for the whole week.

3. We will focus on the family. We love spending time together. In fact, B often requests us "to be a family", which means we head upstairs and play hide and seek, peekaboo, or just cuddle in bed. But we want to start getting out of the house as a family more. Each family member is given a day where they can pick an activity. Monday is Jeff's night, Tuesday is mine, B gets Wednesday, and Cash is up on Thursday. When we explained this to B, he was overjoyed that if he wanted to go to the park with his bike then we ALL had to do it.

So, there they are. After a couple days we are doing a great job. My favorite is cutting back on the TV and a cleaner house. Hopefully we can keep this up, or we are about five years from being the Bundy's.

NYE!

2012-01-04T15:30:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I were bound and determined to go out for New Year's this year. The year before we were house bound sick, the year before that I was seriously pregnant, and the year before that I watched Jeff snore as I watched TV at midnight.

Yeah, adult time was necessary stat.

We thought we had secured a babysitter until at the last minute we realized we didn't. Panic, blame, and depression set in until a family friend swooped in offering up her daughter and her friend. It was game on.

After I took a nap so I knew I could make it past midnight, we started the night with a group of friends for dinner and drinks. (No pics, because I was just TOO EXCITED to be out.) Then we headed out to a fun bar called Irish Republic. I got felt up in line by the bathroom by another woman ("I thought you were wearing a dress! You're not wearing a dress, though!") and I was stone-cold sober, but I had make-up on, I was surrounded by people over 21, and no one was demanding a snack or cartoon.

When we got home our amazing sitters surprised us with a picked-up house. They adorably were stunned we paid them at all. I think they were pleased enough with the NYE buffet I left for them.

It wasn't drunken debauchery for New Year's Eve, but I save that for weekdays.

An Ode to Winter Break

2012-01-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

Alas, Winter Break, it was quite the eventful. I have mixed feelings about the last couple weeks. There were many highs and lows.

Lows: getting the stomach flu, the inevitable bill from Jeff and I both in the ER, not getting cured in the ER, wasting my time with a migraine

Highs: Cash is utterly obsessed and in love with me.

On day one, Cash kept giving me the skeptical eyes. He was pretty sure the wrong parent was home and he was somehow being punished. However, we are now BFFs, cuddling for minutesssss, and we have our own language. There is never enough time for us to share Cheez-Its, watch Gaga and LMFAO on YouTube, tickle/annoy Bradley while he is watching cartoons, or for me to catch him as he throws himself off high places.

Case closed. Winter Break was a freaking success.

My Cashy is all man. He loves to walk around with his hand in his pants. Charmingly enough he will also put food in there for later. It's a treat to watch him pull out Cheerios an hour after breakfast.

Christmas Catch-up

2012-01-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

The lack of pictures is mainly due to the fact I was barely conscious December 24-27. I hate being sick, but to be sick on Christmas--my favorite holiday--well, this leads me to believe my karma account is in the black.

But, also, I am not a fan of taking a picture of the Christmas haul. Something about that seems tacky and it screams, "Come rob me!"

The quick and dirty of it is the boys were endlessly spoiled. Usually Jeff and I anticipate the grandparents will take care of the toys and fun stuff, so we do practical things like clothes, diapers, wipes, etc. IDK what was wrong with us this year, but we went above and beyond.

B was gracious enough to love everrrrything. "Ohh, underwear!" "Awesome, a whole box of Mac and Cheese!" "Yes, slippppperrrrsss!"

Thanks, son.

He is particularly in awe of his Leap Frog Tag Reading-thing. He is a book-whore in the making, so the fact he can sit and read a book by himself is pretty much heaven to him. I won't lie, it is for us, too.

Cash has more balls and cars than one child needs. It's ridiculous, really. And sometimes he doesn't even play with them; he'll just walk around in a daze, arms full of as many cars or ball as he can manage.

Jeff got boring things, like golf stuff, and garage stuff, and hot chips. He loved it all, of course. Then again, he's like B and gets tingly over socks and underwear.

I hit the jackpot this Christmas. My in-laws and parents set my feminist ways back some with a Food Saver and a KITCHEN AID MIXER. I know all you smart bitches out there registered for one, but I was more interested in tile and curtains back then.

Anyway, lots of spoilage. Hopefully all your Christmas hopes and dreams came true, but I doubt it since cars didn't start flying and my earrings can't make me a rock star yet.

New year, new stuff

2012-01-02T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hello, 2012. I hope we will be friends.

Obviously I made the changes I was threatening. I know you were all waiting with a serious case of Anticipation.

I thought and thought until I got sick of caring what a name could be, until I realized one of my favorite quotes would do.

Thanks, Dodie. (AKA, the awesome novelist who dreamed up A Hundred and One Dalmatians*).

* Not the other name for my blog.

Dear Santa...

2011-12-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

I'd like to dedicate this post to Tessy and Renee. I am A LOT more snarky and cynical in real life, and luckily I have these people to vent to about my distaste for tacky "Mommy blog" crap.

I don't understand the need for the Mommy Bloggers with national audiences to sweetly, innocently post their "Dear Santa" lists. I know what you are doing, ladies.

Then again, if I had a national audience I would sweetly, innocently post my list and sit back with a steaming mug of supreme smugness while my Christmas presents came rolling in. I would save all my money on the after-Christmas specials, because y'all know those deals are just as good, if not better, than Black Friday.

Here we go. Here are my lists. So, for all five of you who read my blog, sharpen your pencils!

************

Dear Santa,

It's me, Cash! Normally a kid my age would say, "Gimme trucks and balls!" (LOLs, Santa! I love saying, "Balls!" NEWAY...) For Christmas, I want bandaids and ice packs for the poor souls I abuse. I like throwing things at people and the more I love them, the harder I throw. Apparently this hurts the feelings and faces of people. Also, I'd like a bowl that endlessly feeds me bananas and steel cut oats.

Later bro,
Ca$h-man

************

Dear Santa,

It's me, Bradley! I just have to say, sir, I admire your scheduling. How do you do it? Do you have a Blackberry? Day-planner? Personal assistant? I'm trying to figure out the best system for my family, because I need to know what everyone is doing, what they were doing, what they will be doing, etc. It's a thing with me. Also, I need some more combs because my mom keeps trying to do crazy things with my hair; I just want it combed normal, like this:

Respectfully,

Bradley

************

Hey Santa,

Jeff here. Hot sauce, bacon, and PBR. Same a last year, man.

Thanks!

Jeff

************

Dear Santa,

I've thought really hard about what I want: an Anthropologie jacket, an Instagram family portrait, my cookbook published, Perez Hilton to be a bitch again, or a monthly portrait with my halo highlighted in a different color? It's really tough to choose.

Ultimately, I think what I really want is a $10 giftcard to Target. It's small and doesn't take up to much space or detract from the joy my family will have opening their presents. With it I can buy Christmas decor and necessities for NEXT Christmas, because I just want to make each Christmas better and better.

Loving all your hard work,

Your favorite ~~martyr~~ Keiko

************

Hmmmm.... Yeah. That's about right.

Initial Stools

2011-12-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

I wish I'd take before pictures. It would make things so much more interesting.

Anyway, I took some grandma looking footstools with nasty, pastoral print fabric and turned it into something more appropriate for the boys' room.

I about lost my sanity removing the 478 staples from EACH stool. Seriously, these things were well-made and the Italians who made them had no intention for someone to take them apart.

I taped then painted and stenciled the boys' intials on some burlap. I had Jeff cut out formed backing because the original stool was just the batting and fabric--I anticipate lots of jumping off and on these things. I used all the same colors, patterns, etc. since I didn't want to have to deal with the drama of someone's being "better" or having "more".

Originally, I considered giving these to them as Santa gifts, but I am really eager to get going on these rooms. It might take me a couple more weeks and a good chunk of my Christmas money and gift cards (who's a martyr?), but I'm excited to get it done.

The Nutcracker

2011-12-14T22:05:00.001-07:00

If you've talked to B in the last week you know Auntie Erin and I took him to see The Nutcracker. We went to eat at The Outback, went to the theatre, and saw my friends dance. Oh, and he really liked the flips.

One of my students was dancing in a local dance school's production of The Nutcracker and his mom graciously gave me tickets so I could take B. Erin and I let him pick dinner; even though he picked Sonic first, I was able to talk him in to something a bit more...classy.

At dinner and as we drove to the show, we tried to explain to him what to expect. He seemed concerned that he had never actually been to the theatre, so when I told him that as a baby in my tummy he went to many shows and even saw some Broadway, he was tickled.

"What did I think, Mama?" he asked.
"You told me, 'I looovvvee the theatre, Mama,'" I goofed.
Giggles.

I was nervous he would be bored or scared once everything started, but he was enthralled. The boy sat on the edge of his seat for the first 20 minutes, until the full-sized Nutcracker appeared. He was quite literally taken aback, scooting all the way from the front to the back of his seat, with eyes wide as saucers. He adored the acrobats and Russians. And when Connor and Katie were dancing, he'd whisper, "There are your friends, Mama!" Despite the fact we were going hours past his bedtime, he made it through all but the last 5 minutes.

The best part of the night was when B kept whispering to me, "Mama, I love The Nutcracker," and "Mama, I love the theatre."

Heart cockles, on fire!

Dear Jenna

2011-12-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

We miss you. Thank you. We love you.

You take great pictures.

And your hair makes for an awesome Santa beard.

Are they extensions?

Love,

JKBC

No words, part 3

2011-12-09T16:00:00.000-07:00

No words, part 2

2011-12-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

I did a lot of kissing.

No words

2011-12-07T23:32:00.001-07:00

More to come! Thank you Jenna! xoxo

Santa Sigh

2011-12-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

We don't get good Santa pics. Ever. Next year I am considering Photoshop.

Bradley is practically eating his own face off. Poor baby is trying to be so brave despite the fact just seconds before he was seriously trembling. It wasn't until we reminded him that Santa gave candy he even took a step forward. Like a champ he mustered, "Hey, Santa."

Cash is clearly pissed. Not because he is panicked that he is sitting on Santa's lap. No, because he is sitting on Santa's lap and not being held by Jeff. Dad is the shit. Santa is not.

The stuffed reindeer is looking good, no? And Santa looks very cheery. (His blush is frightening up close and personal.)

Suddenly, Jenna!

2011-12-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

I've told you guys before how much I hate Thanksgiving, right? Let's recap: lots of food that I am not interested in, bad color scheme, and it gets in the way of Christmas.

This year's Thanksgiving was a bit more fabulous since my cousin Jenna came to town. (Remember, her?) We flew her down from Eugene, where she is going to school, with a business arrangement to do our pictures. Seriously, call me a Highly Effective Person because I figured out the best Win-Win situation. Not only did we get to spend time with Jenna and get stellar family pictures, but we did some Black Friday shopping and had a picnic on top of a mountain. You think I am lying about the last part, but hand to God, I'm not.

Anyway. She sent a picture sneak peek and it makes me giddy for the rest.

Before she arrived she suggested I get ideas for family pics, so I proceeded to pin a bunch on Pinterest. Then I promptly forgot that I did that. Good thing she directs us.

Cash (being Cash) is a tough photo subject: he either sluts it up for the camera or could give Kate Moss a run with his bitchy antics. He didn't want to have much to do with posing this day. He was more about trying to sit on a cactus or throw himself off the mountain. Tickling. Dancing. Singing. Nothing worked. Until we flipped him upside down.

It worked for his brother four years ago.

Looking through my Pinterest tonight, I realized we totally ripped this one off. Oh well.

At least we didn't do this one.

Happy Anniversary

2011-12-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I have been married for 7 years. It sounds like a long time to me. And it feels like a long time, too. Especially if you ask Jeff. But there are many more years to come, many more house projects, snarky comments, and mornings of me taking out the trash in my heels.

Even with my hints, Jeff went off script. It was sweet of him because I was pretty sure he stopped listening to me at the four year mark.

Have I ever told you how pathetic I look riding a bike? Actually, it's more like when I get going. Oh Lord, is anyone else afraid they are going to get their feet tangled in the pedals, crash, and break their face in the first ten seconds?

For Jeff, I gave him a "favorite things" box of 8 items (seven years plus one for luck). Dickies shorts, peanut butter Twix, a coupon for free coffee at Waffle House, iTunes and Home Depot gift cards, Ziploc bowls (he is always forgetting them at work), a membership in a hot sauce club, and this:

You would think it was our honeymoon all over again. He looked at that Bacon Spam as loving and tenderly as he did me seven years ago. And I could not have been more thrilled for the two of them. The man has yet to cook it, though. He keeps telling me of the grand meal he has planned for it.

I am in love with a weirdo.

We tried to scare the cancer out of her

2011-12-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

I told you about bestie. The only updates I have to give are :-/

1. She was unable to go Black Friday shopping. She was busy getting her lady balls pinned out of the way so they wouldn't be effected by treatments. (The next time you see her, please ask how they are hanging.)

2. Insurance companies are ridiculous, petulant children. This shouldn't be a newsflash.

On a happy note, a couple weeks ago, her brother and I pulled off an epic party. We called it, "Oh balls, Erin has cancer." It was a surprise party where we invited a bunch of friends and family to rally support for Erin and her treatment. Or, as Erin put it, her "Cancer Shower".

There were presents, too--gift cards, blankets, jammies, and such. Lotsandlots of food. And amazing cakes.

Yep. Those are balls on her cake.

Her treatments haven't started. That will require dealing with insurance companies in a firm voice and many faxes. So, the moral of the story is if you know someone at United Healthcare, kick them in the shins. We're fighting fire with fire.

Update!

2011-12-02T19:06:00.001-07:00

We waited for Neighbor to leave and then....

They aren't the greatest pictures, but you get the idea.

Christmas with Neighbor

2011-12-02T18:10:00.001-07:00

In an effort to make their ridiculous dues worth it, my HOA does sad things like have yard decorating contests for Halloween and Christmas. I think the only thing we "win" is our name in the newsletter and one less night to cry ourselves to sleep.

After seeing the winners of the Halloween yard contest, Neighbor has decided he will conquer the Christmas contest.

Last weekend he spent hours and hours wrapping his tree in lights. Do you know how many? Over 800 lights! A total of 3,300 in his whole yard!! I hate that I remember this because I need that space in my brain for memories of boys' childhoods.

He decided that LIGHTS aren't enough and promptly hung massive ornament balls from his poor tree. That wasn't enough so he put a ginormous inflatable Santa in his driveway.

That is B standing next to it.

The view from our driveway. Notice our now-tiny Snowman and pitifully bare shrub?

This clearly shows that not just a huge truck can clue everyone in to how minuscule your *ahem* is.

Apparently a Santa Hulk wasn't good enough and tonight he approached Jeff about putting lights in our shrubs that border his yard. Just to make his point, he laid a pile of lights by them so he could spring into action the minute we agreed.

I so want to do something like this.

And so it begins...again. For like the 20th time.

2011-12-02T17:44:00.000-07:00

The boys are moving in together! You know what that means....DECORATING! Hollerrrrr.

Thanks to Pinterest I have been saving many of the ideas I have come across. And it is paying off!

I fell in love with the idea of a pallet wall.

Inspiration picture

My pallet wall

It looks amazing! At first I wasn't a fan of the green peeking through from this:

But now I think it makes it more interesting.

Here are some more of my inspiration pics. I'm not sure what will become of it, which is a lot more exciting than I thought it would be. Usually I have everything planned to the final detail.

When it rains, it pours.

2011-12-01T10:05:00.000-07:00

I might not have a new blog title (help, please?), but I am updating.

Picture dump!

Celebrating his Japaneseness.

Thinking of being an ass.

Reveling in being an ass.

Ass deep in being an ass.

Thanksgiving. Six pictures later, this was the best I could do.

Holiday decorations. The ones that sing and move. FML.

Cash is his father's son. Etnies, topless, buttcrack....even the blanket.

Ask Jeff about his $1000 bet.

Baby stalking.

sexy and they know it*

2011-11-30T21:19:00.001-07:00

Thanks to filmaker Jeff, we have the best blackmail we've attained in months!

Cash has been quite the little DJ with my clock radio. Notice he even has the subtle sway going on. And B...well, he has that trashy girl whine going. "Ohhmmaaagawwd. Let me see the picture you toooookkk!"

Keep an eye on Cash from :38 on. Loves it.

*I am in no way trying to objectify my children. It's the song. Dur.**
**Not trying to be offensive to people with less capabilities, just trying to be glib.***
***Did this make anyone else think of Tom Cruise vs. Matt Lauer?

Disneyland or bust

2011-11-30T19:39:00.001-07:00

I am a Disney freak. Not one of those "I have a tattoo, four bumper stickers, nine t-shirts, and the cast member at the Haunted Mansion knows my name kind of freak". But I am pretty freaky in the "I go every other year, nearly pee my pants five times before getting in, do happy hops when I enter the park, get misty at certain rides, and outright cry when we leave".

I've mentioned many-a-time on here that I can't wait to take B to Disneyland when he is 5. He is going to be five in 2012, so I say, "GAME ON, let's plan this bitch!"

We are ditching the baby with grandparents, pulling out the wallet, and taking our firstborn to Disneyland in October 2012.

As I am a planner I am juggling six different pricing strategies right now, falling between $600-$1200 without air fare. Good thing I like my kid.

So while I wade through the mess of cost, I am focusing on the joyous bonus that our trip will fall during Disneyland's Halloween, which is Bradley's favorite holiday. There is a Halloween party with Mickey--costumes, trick or treating, and all. Someone is going to pee his pants!

Time for a name change

2011-11-30T18:53:00.001-07:00

I named this blog before the Kardashian family (ew, I feel nasty even typing that) had a show. And it wasn't meant to be snotty (like the saying "keeping up with the Joneses), it was simply a way that my family and friends out of state could actually keep up with us.

Anyway, a name change is due. Perhaps it will get me to blog more. (Side note, does anyone else feel that their younger kid(s) has less proof of childhood than the eldest?)

Oh balls.

2011-11-01T20:06:00.000-07:00

This is my bestie. I love her.

She is my BBF (best bitch forever).

Her name is Erin, or Auntie Erin, or Reed.

Long story short, she has the cance, the big C, or an awesome reason to look in to medical marijuana. Yep, I am talking about cancer. But no worries, because everyone is pleased that it was caught early enough and hasn't spread.

As we sat on my front porch on Halloween, talking shit about my neighbor, complaining about impolite kids, and general nonsense, the conversation always seemed to go back to the cance.

Example: "I am not going to give any candy to kids who don't say, 'Trick or treat'. I mean, c'mon kids, get with the program. So tomorrow you have your chemo port put in?"

Since her diagnosis we've talked a lot about it. Sometimes I think I bring it up too much. And then I think not enough. And then I think I am thinking to much about ME and not enough about HER. And then I feel guilty. And then I realize guilt is something I am feeling and try to empathize and then I think I don't want to let the cancer be the big dumb animal in the back of everything.

Despite the utter stupidity of a 30 year-old with no bad habits getting the cance, we have a very sick sense of humor about the whole thing. I highly encourage it. Erin has thrown around the idea of getting us cuts in line at Ikea pulling the, "I have cancer" line. I have openly drawn the line at cutting my hair if she were to lose hers, but gladly offered up my kids.

One thing that we keep circling back to is people's reactions. As we sat eating as much candy as we were passing out on Halloween, the response "I'm sorry" to her news came up. It's such a bad comeback, one I am guilty of. So we brainstormed a list of responses to shitty news we stumble across in the future.
- "Oh balls."
- "Oh bother."
- "That's what she said."
- "...in bed."

Not a stunning list. But once we had the first two, we were pretty set.

The next few months will be lots of ridiculous stuff for Erin. Hormones. Harvesting (lols). A zillion doctor appointments. Dealing with insurance. Ultrasounds. Scans. Planning lessons for missed classes. Chemo. Radiation. Surgery. Exhaustion. The 40k emotions that go along with What If, Not Knowing, Trusting, and Not Being In Control. Money worries.

And during all of this just trying to simply heal--mentally, emotionally, physically.

If anyone can do it I know she can. I know she will.

In the mean time, send some happy thoughts her way. No need for prayers or sorries. If you know her, send her an inappropriate joke or hilarious video. Help us add to the list of responses for bad news.

In the meantime, stay tuned. I have some things of my sleeve for my bestie. She deserves it.

Baby time

2011-11-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

It boggles my mind that this child is going to be 2 in a few months. I don't understand. It does not compute. How is he not still a baby?

School spirit

2011-10-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

I love that my school has a preschool. I can go see B whenever I like. Whether he wants to see me when I show up is a different story.

He is really into being a Lion Cub (our mascot is a mountain lion), so I knew he would be psyched for a personalized jersey.

(This is two minutes after he woke up. He doesn't get that from me.)

(Extra mom points for the last name only, as Cash will be able to wear it in a few years.)

Baby shower

2011-10-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

Our good friends, Jessi and Joseph, are expecting their first baby. He is due any second now.

I was happy to host, especially if it meant I got to control the games--which meant there would be no games. Call me a party pooper, but I don't think any mother-to-be gives a rat's ass about games. By this point in her pregnancy she is tired, uncomfortable, and emotional; being measured by toilet paper doesn't add any joy to her day.

Basically it was one of our standard get-togethers with less alcohol and more baby decorations.

Big thanks to my friend, Shanna (future owner of amazing bakery), for the camo cupcakes. Joseph is an airsoft-aholic, so I thought they would be appropriate.

Baby decor...

The peeps...

Jessi and me...

Kara and Giles...

The Dews came from California to help celebrate!

Jon and Joseph...

The other Jeff D., Erin, and Ciera...

The boys were particularly obsessed with the Dews.

Can't wait for baby Will/Spartacus/Kobo to get here!

Haircuts

2011-10-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

Usually I cut B's hair at home. He has thick, coarse hair that doesn't look particularly good anyway but short. But, since Jeff is growing his hair out, he wants to have it long.

I think that accounts for his piss poor attitude.

I love that he looks so cute acting the fool.

Cash, on the other hand, was pleased. I would be too if I looked this bad ass.

Dear Jeff

2011-10-25T21:06:00.003-07:00

Dear Jeff,

It will soon be our 7th anniversary. As we approach the 7 year itch, I must confess: I have no clue what you would like as a gift. I realize that I am more gift than you can handle or imagine, but perhaps a small token of my appreciation is warranted.

That being said, let me submit suggestions for my tokens of appreciation.

You know how much I love silver...and there are seven rings! Get it? Seven?!

Feed my show obsession. I know it seems unfair considering they would have lots of company, but I love all my babies equally.

Haha. JK. Maybe. Not really. Ok, I am.

Living room redo??

Ok....

That's all I have for now.

PS-- For more ideas, you can break into my Pinterest.

Wuboo,

Wifey.

Literally, NOM

2011-10-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Do you notice how often people misuse the word "literally"?

For example, if you say, "I was so embarrassed, I literally died," I would accuse you of being a zombie.

Tonight, I HAD to have chocolate cupcakes. There I was, making dinner, and it hit me upside my head. I made them from scratch since I didn't have any mix. Move the eff over, Betty Crocker!

I noticed something as I was frosting them.

My cupcakes literally looked like crap. Like the poop on the ground. I could not have been more successful at making poop cupcakes.

And this didn't help.

Lots of LOLs over here. But, really, I have literally never been so willing to eat something resembling crap.

Cute monk

2011-10-24T19:18:00.002-07:00

The hippie farm around the corner from my house solidified its hippie-ness by bringing Tibetan monks to visit. Jeff and I went to a meditation they were hosting.

Check out the young monk.

Right??

When Jeff dresses the boys...

2011-10-02T10:06:00.002-07:00

Bradley @ 18 months.

Cash @ 20 months.

Nom to the nom

2011-09-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

I rarely have a day as productive or domestic as today.

In light of my accomplishments I have to share. (Reed, feel free to make fun of me, as I am breaking one of our online covenants.)

I made food. Lots of it. Basically everything off my Pinterest.

Jeff helped make these for breakfast. They were as incredible as they look.

This french bread.

These sandwiches for lunch.

These buns, since I forgot to buy some for the chicken sandwiches.

This amazzzing soup. I crock potted it so we can have it later this week.

I got the quinoa prepped for this dish.

And I got the steel cut oats made for the week.

Yeah, I'm pretty fucking incredible.

Cash-cash

2011-09-16T22:05:00.001-07:00

This little man is t-r-o-u-b-l-e.

He doesn't talking much, but he does a lot of hollering, giggling, and screeching. He doesn't hug much, but he does give daps, high five, and head butt.

I'm pretty sure when he has the dexterity he will live up to another famous Cash.

I make him sound like a monster, and, well, he is. But in the best way. He is chockfull of personality.

I love how my boys are their own little people. While B is sweet, thoughtful, and cuddly, Cash is a sassy, independent, and a busybody.

I always know where Cash has been (because of the mess) and where he is going (because of the sounds).

Do not let that sweet face fool you. He's just trying to get you closer so he can throw his favorite sippy cup on your toe.

Love that baby.

Saving the Diving Lady

2011-09-14T22:01:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night, bestie, Jeffy, and I went to a fundraiser for the Mesa Preservation Society to raise money for the new diving lady. Fer real, I felt like a society lady.

Hopefully, I will have some good news from the silent auction. I bid on a piece of the original diving lady. I don't want to spoil it...

Life is rough

2011-09-13T22:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't had the motivation to do a freaking thing, especially blog.

I am ass deep in essays...

...it was freaking hot outside (something like 30 plus days of record heat)...

...and then I lost my Toms (nooooooooooo), so I had to buy some more.

Ok, so maybe the last one wasn't so bad.

Bulleted points make me feel like I have control.

2011-09-03T21:15:00.002-07:00

I watched this movie today.

Ohmigod. Ew. So EW.

I know a lot of you have already seen it and even read the book (which I won't be able to do because afterward I might just have to live off of air--and even that could be contaminated), so I will spare the details. But here are the points that have stuck with me:

I want to adopt every pig out there because life is rough for swine.
Chickens and eggs are mutated nasty things. Ew.
Cows eat shit and corn, which somehow leads to Ecoli and no one who should care seems to care. Ewww.
Hundreds of different cows go into grocery store ground beef. Ewwwww.
Corn is everywhere and scientists like to fuck with it to do craaazy things.
Farm bred fish are fed with corn. I know that is just not natural.
And it is possible for me to be so freaked out about meat but crave a burger at the same time.

Some of that is my spin, but if you watched the movie you know I am not far off base.

While I was watching the movie I started looking up food co-ops for grass-fed beef and real eggs. This was during the movie. I was so relieved to find some and am thrilled to jump on the "I don't want to eat an animal that I wouldn't recognize if it walked up to be and kicked me in the face with it's paw/foot/talon."

Not only will we be eating healthier but

I will not be making my kids more resistant to antibiotics. (This has happened.)
I will be supporting local businesses.
My beef will come from one cow and my eggs will not be chemicals in a shell.

I am still torn on the pork and fish part. I just might become kosher.

That being said. I am going here next Thursday for their farmers market. Grass-fed beef, real eggs, and a petting zoo--all around the corner from my house.

Seasonal Disorder

2011-08-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

I realize it is poor form to complain about the weather when there is a tropic storm roaring on the East coast, but my brain is fried. I don't complain often about the weather since I live in the middle of the effing desert, but it's been over 110-degrees for two weeks now.

All I want is to be able to wear a cardigan. Is that too much to ask?

Dying and going to heaven

2011-08-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

Unless you are from France, you know the bestie and I went to see Adele in Las Vegas last weekend.

I have no words for the amazingness that occurred in Las Vegas, while disasters brewed in the AZ.

Upon our arrival we were told our room was to be upgraded. Serious bonus considering we picked our hotel (Bill's) for the convenient location and $100 price tag. Unfortunate considering it was our shortest stay in LV ever and it was just the two of us.

Relaxing on the sectional.

Master bath

View from the dining room.

Same view at night.

View from the potty.

I've always liked gaming and the breakfast at Bill's, but now it will be my choice for staying. Those people LOVE working there and were ridiculously nice. It was actually creepy at times.

After relaxing we were on our way to The Cosmopolitan for a special night with Adele.

Dressed as a cliched versions of ourselves. Erin in stripes; me in animal print.

We were excited to check out The Cosmopolitan, since it is pretty new. Spoiler: this place sucks beyond suck--we got totally lost due to the lack of signage, douchebags galore populated the place, and we almost died after the concert when they blocked all exits then herded hundreds of people down two escalators.

If I had died on the escalator underneath a 6'3" 300+ pound gorilla, I would have gone happy, because I had just left the sweet sounds of my favorite British songstress.

Considering she only has two albums, she sang nearly every song. She added her cover of Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make you Love Me", which has had a firm spot on my top 20 since junior high.

Before leaving, B had expressed often how sad he was that I was going to Adele without him. He luurrves her. However, he was particularly pathetic before I left and when I came home he had full blown croup. He was so sick he didn't even want to see my bootleg version of his favorite song, "Rumor Has It". Very sad face.

In the end, though, it was the best concert I had ever been to. I am so glad I got to share it with Erin. What a year we are having: Lady Gaga and Adele.

Fruit Loop Fun

2011-08-08T20:02:00.000-07:00

After a million years farming onion and potatoes, my uncles Roy and Jack sold the farm and headed off into the proverbial sunset (Roy in his new Mercedes).

To celebrate, their daughters planned and hosted an amazing weekend in Portland, Oregon. I was going solo on this trip until my parents asked if they could bring B along with them. Since they were leaving a day early we decided to surprise him with my arrival.

Friday night I flew out and met the family at (what else?) a Japanese restaurant. I could not have been more pleased to see not only a gaggle of my Hasebe family and yummy avocado rolls for dinner, but also my little B monster. Please, dear lord, never let me forget his face and squeal when I appeared.

The next day we were off on a whirlwind of activity. The girls reserved a trolly car to take us around Hood River in a place called the Fruit Loop. It is called this because of all the local farms with blueberries, peaches, and so on. There was fresh fruit, jam, cookies, ice cream, omnomnomnomnom...

We ended the night at a fancy dinner and lots of pictures, because after all: we are Japanese. I am only half, so my camera phone had to do.

Mt. Hood

Bradley and his BFF, cousin Brandon.

Don't let that face fool you, he is actually pretending to be Ironman with his cousins, Madelyn and Hannah.

Lavender field.

My brother trying to get stung by a bee.

Vista House. From there you could see all of the Columbia River Gorge. Amazing.

Best cousins.

Seriously, he was the best kid on this trip...well, until dinner.

My cousins did a great job honoring the hard work of my uncles. They absolutely deserved this amazing sendoff. I am still dealing with serious jealousy issues as I immediately had to return to back-to-school shenanigans upon arrival to Arizona.

Back-to-school celebration

2011-08-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

This is how the bestie and I roll when it comes to back to school. In order to fortify our posterior for sitting through endless meetings, that attempt to buoy our spirits and rally our skills, we eat lots of carbs.

That's homemade cheesy, bacon bread.

On a side note, I would like to give serious props to Erin for her cooking skills. I have really appreciated the fact I can send her a recipe and in a matter of days it appears before us.

Good thing we brought other friends with us to share, because no doubt we would have ate the WHOLE thing.

Summa' time and the living's easy

2011-07-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

It's time for me to put my working mom, big girl panties on and suck it up. 'Tis the end of summer and that means back to school.

I feel a bit cheated this summer since I was at school much of June, but that just meant more moola for us to have fun, right?

I will miss...
...belly laughs.
...B's little butt in his undies (AKA summer time attire).
...Cash learning to kiss.
....play dates with friends.
....B quizzing me on the day's schedule.
....letting B pick if he wants to go swimming or the museum.
...sandy toes.
....Sesame Street cuddling.
...flip flops, tank tops, and cozy shorts.
....Cash attacking the monster (me under a blanket).
....making fun new meals.
....waking up at 7am.
....floating with the boys in the pool.
....infinite time for home projects.
...the ability to go to the bathroom whenever I please.
...naps.

B is starting his last year of preschool and Cash will be with a new sitter, so lots of fun adventures are coming up.

Regardless, time marches on. It makes me sad now, but there will be more breaks and summer times to come.

San Diego: the best and worst

2011-07-28T07:00:00.002-07:00

Our little family had the best time. I cannot wait for our next adventure.

The best

The worst

(To be fair, I'd be unhappy waking up after four hours of being strapped into a seat, looking out the window and seeing ugly desert scrub brush, and seeing the thermometer at 105, too.)

My awful mind

2011-07-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

My latest Google searches:
"Can I freeze guacamole?"
"Can I freeze milk?" <---- lots on breast milk and that was not my intention
"Can I freeze eggs?"

Seriously, right?

Now I need to search:
- "Where is my life?"
- "Is this me so bored that I secretly wish for school to start?"
- "When did my freezer become so central to my life?"

San Diego: Brotherly Love

2011-07-27T19:00:00.001-07:00

No words for this, just lots of love.

Cash hit himself in the head with his cup.

Big brother makes it all better.

San Diego: FOOD!

2011-07-27T07:00:00.003-07:00

We ate like rockstars on this trip.

On our way into town we bypassed El Centro for lunch since the boys were sleeping. Two minutes out of town they woke up ravenous. No snacks would satisfy them and we were scared when we realized there is nothing between El Centro and San Diego. Desperately we stopped in Alpine, looking for something. We were so desperate we hit a Mexican food drive-thru attached to a Valero station. Seriously, right? It's like we were jonesing for food poisoning.

Amazingly enough, we learned sometimes amazing things come in shitty packages. The place we ended up finding was a diamond in the rough: Diego's Taco Shop. Jeff got a Ranchero Carne Asada burrito, I got rolled tacos with guacamole, and the boys a cheese enchilada. Evvverythhing was delicious. Jeff and I wanted to kidnap the abuelita we were sure was cooking in back.

Like pigs, we hit Diego's Taca Shop on the way OUT of town, too. Seriously, if you are on your way to San Diego and do not eat at this place, I have failed you.

The first night we ate at Corvette Diner, thanks to the bestie's recommendation. This place was fun for the boys since there was a lot to see and loud oldies music that covered any screeching on Cash's part or the endless questions from B. Also, there is an arcade attached, so B was able to work off his meal. Topping it off, the food was pretty good, too.

Posters on the ceiling: endless fun

For lunch the next day we got some Japanese food. I love being in a state where the fish is fresh and the word bento is not met with confused stares. We got udon, a couple orders of rolls, a teriyaki bento, and miso soup. Nomnomnom.

That night for dinner we ordered pizza from Luigi's (Yelp says it's the best) and took it to the beach for a picnic. I have never actually seen B's head explode with excitement, but this was the closest it has come to actually happening.

By far, this was one of my favorite memories of the trip and I didn't even plan it that way!

San Diego: Day Four

2011-07-26T19:00:00.000-07:00

Wild Animal Park!

This was our last day and Jeff and I were feeling it. We didn't want to stay too long at the Safari Park, so we hit up a couple parts of the park and did the African Trail Ride.

This place was cool because the animals are RIGHT THERE.

Cheetah! Resting under the tree.

Lots of endangered animals, like that White Rhino.

Baby antelopedeerAfricanhorned thing

Gorilla ass.

Jeff playing Super Dad.

We only stayed for a couple hours. Our kids were tuckered out after seeing many endangered animals they will no doubt completely forget about. Shortly after this last pic we were on our way home.

I'm glad we went so Jeff and I could see the animals in a really unique and interesting environment. I was also glad we had a morning activity to wear out the babes.

Proof:

Loooove this pic.

San Diego: Day Three

2011-07-26T07:00:00.001-07:00

Sea World!

We started in the Sesame Street Bay of Play, mainly because it is one of the first things you see. There was a massive play structure, bouncy place, splash pad, and rides. B could have stayed here all day, except for the rides. He hated them. He better get over it, because someday we are going to Disneyland.

Humidity does awful things to my hair.

Sad faces all around.

Enthralled by the Arctic Show.

Walrus!

Polar bear!

Polar bear food! This fish was huddled against the glass, whispering, "Help me!"

Beluga whales

Turrrrtles!

Somewhere around 1pm we headed back to the hotel for naps. We got back just in time for the Shamu show, which was just as impressive as it was when I was little. Unfortunately for B we were not in the splash zone.

We meandered around the park until 9pm (a million hours past their bedtimes) and finished up in the Sesame Street area.

Jeff won him this. He names it Tree. Obviously.

Smile like we are a happy family!

Thanks to a friend's suggestion we did the meal pass. For $80 could eat all day long at most of the restaurants. My frugal soul soared with this deal.

San Diego: Day Two

2011-07-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

Our first full day in San Diego, we decided to spend at the zoo. We figured that would be starting small and we could work up to Sea World. Little did we know how amazing the zoo would be.

Obligatory photo op.

My favorite.

We were just asking to get pooped on in the aviary.

Did you know pandas sleep 22 hours a day?

Tiger babies!

So cool. Little did we know San Diego is populated with polar bears.

Lots of fun stuff at this zoo. Everyone who recommended it was absolutely correct. I think Cash had more fun screaming at the animals. He would point them out like the best little zoo keeper.

Proof picture. We got it.

San Diego: Day One

2011-07-25T07:00:00.002-07:00

I thought I had everything planned out: hotel, food, activities, clothes, and coffee breaks. But you can never be too prepared with two little boys stuck in a vehicle for six hours. Actually, I should revise that: you can never be prepared to be stuck in a vehicle for any amount of time with Cash.

Let me try to explain my baby. He is loud, constantly seeking attention, always plotting to steal every blanket in a five mile radius, refuses to sleep if there is an iota of activity surrounding him, and he screams if he is happy, sad, angry, indifferent, tired, well-rested, and so on.

The first hour of the trip was exhausting because Cash just could not get used to the idea of being restrained. Around the time he finally fell asleep, we stopped. Fabulous.

When we FINALLY made it to San Diego our hotel wasn't ready for us to check in, so we headed to the beach, which was right across the street. We stayed in Mission Bay and I was pleased that the bay was in fact...a bay... and there would be no open water to wash my babies out to sea.

B is usually very wary of swimming pools, but he was different about the ocean: he could not get enough of it. When we dragged them out of the water they sat and played in the sand. Cash was perplexed to say the least and B could not get enough sand in his bucket fast enough.

Cash got sand in every orifice of his body, especially his nose and ears.

The drool adds a special touch.

Any frustration from our harried morning completely evaporated and we were finally on VACATION. In fact, it was the first vacation we had taken together as a family of four.

Nothing could beat being with my three favorite people.

Especially when these things were happening:

More to come...

We survived

2011-07-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

San Diego was amazing. We left Wednesday and came back Saturday. We usually come back on Saturdays from vacays so we can recover on Sunday before heading back to work. I could not be more pleased with our decision right now.

I am so tired.

I was so tired last night that I couldn't sleep.

I have plenty to say about the trip. So many pictures. So many memories I want to make sure I write down for the boys. But right now, I am going to curl up with my Kindle and rest.

Summer 2011 projects

2011-07-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

It always starts with "just a little paint" and ends with me picking out tile and shopping for decor items.

B has been moping. Requesting his bathroom to be "back to perfect". I keep reminding him he picked out the paint.

These corners are why this is the LAST room in the house to be painted.

More to come.

In other developments, I hit up one of my favorite thrift stores and found this vintage light fixture. I couldn't resist.

Perhaps this was in your grandmother's house? Well, I don't care. It spoke to my soul. It was really awkward for the volunteer watching me commune with a light fixture.

If you recall my obsession with the drum pendant above my kitchen table. Hey, some people have foot fetishes, I have a light fixture fetish.

Manifesto of a Fattie

2011-07-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

I just spent the last ten minutes listening to my Neighbor gush about the latest girl he went out with on a date. My neighbor's divorce will become official on July 19th, but he has already been on a variety of dating sites, multiple dates, and had numerous lady-friends over at his house.

Even though he may be rushing things just a bit, I am not judging because a) he freely admits he is one of those people who can't be without a partner, and b) his relationships are his business. However, I do allow myself the luxury of critiquing because he kisses and tells, and for seeks insight because some reason I have relationship guru written on my forehead.

He openly expresses his desire to find "Mrs. Perfect". According to him, this means 5'2", 100 pounds, no interest in having kids (he has three!), no cats (his son is allergic), someone who gives him "the butterflies 24/7", and a variety of other sexy-type details that I didn't ask for nor cared to hear about.

Today was a big day for Neighbor; he went on a coffee date that lasted 4 hours and she was PERFECT. As he gushed he did tell me her "one black mark" was the fact she used to be fat. But, being the Positive Paul he is, it is perfect, because, "Since she was an ugly duckling, she has no idea how beautiful she is."

Don't worry, guys. I was allll over that immediately.

Me: "So, because she was fat, that is a black mark?"
Him: "Nononono, she just used to be fat and now that she is isn't; she hasn't realized how pretty she is."
Me: "So she couldn't have been pretty when she was fat?"
Him: "You know what I mean. She is just happier now that she is pretty."
Me: "Right..."

In true male fashion the point went way over his head.

What I took away from conversation with Neighbor is fat people aren't pretty, only pretty people are thin, and fat people aren't happy. Did I get it all?

Did I take this all personally? Fuck, yeah. I've been a fat kid since I was in second grade. I have mentally battled with almost every bite I take. I see the skeptical looks on others' faces when I (honestly) say I love to work out. I can't ignore sales clerks who look skeptically at the racks as I look for my size.

Have I had friends and family tell me that I would be happier if I lost weight? How amazing my face would look with ten less pounds? Openly question what I was eating? Yes, yes, yes. And do I appreciate and amaze in their love and care? I suppose.

But let me put this out there: while I might not be happy with my girth, I am happy about so many other things: my boys, my Jeff, my job, my dogs, my home, my friends, my family. While I might not fit into mainstream sizes, I feel comfortable in the clothes that I choose to wear. While I might not look like the models in the magazine, I am fucking pretty. While I might have a fat face, none of said fat has migrated to my brain making me inept. While I might not be able to dash gracefully for miles around a track, my heart and soul can leap to depths unimaginable.

And I know this for sure, pretty is a relative term. And there is nothing pretty about the person who falls for the crock of shit Neighbor has cooking next door. I might be fat, but that isn't a dish I am interested in tasting.

One of my students shared this with me. It seems appropriate now. Thanks, Dana.

Project chair

2011-06-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

I have had this project chair in my garage forever. I forgot I had a before picture.

The woodwork was dusty and gross. The padding was even fouler.

I really wasn't sure if I was going to paint or refinish. I am so glad I did the latter.

I decided to show the new version in its natural habitat: in the glow of cartoons, occupied by a little boy dressed for the AZ heat, surrounded by a plethora of children's toys.

Vegas, baby

2011-06-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

You know you're an Arizonan when you plan trips to Vegas in June, July, or August.

You know you are old when you decide to drive up just to see the new Hoover Dam bypass.

We rolled Snowbird style: boys in front, girls in back.

We brought healthy snacks.

And someone brought her homework. Nerd.

The first night we met up with more friends, ate lots of food at Todai (in Planet Hollywood), and saw some of the free attractions.

The aftermath.

We watched this after robbing the hotel.

Tina Turner performing in our hotel casino. Who knew?

On day two my parents joined us. We returned to the scene of the crime at Rio where we dined to celebrate our 30th birthdays. This time we got a front row seat to the crab legs.

My dad threatened me not to put this pic on my blog. We were making fun of how he blended in with the other nerdy Asian men.

Before we ate, we wandered around and got to peek in on the World Series of Poker. It was amazing. I have never been in a room so big, with so many people, and it be so quiet. You could only hear the players messing with their chips.

That night we played some blackjack and got in to general mischief. We didn't sleep much. The view from our room was out of control, but so was the noise.

Do you like my Vegas shirt? It's supposed to be ironic.

We were right above this open air club.

The next day it was more eating, playing, etc.

Jeff enjoying his Captain Crunch milkshake at KGB Burger. It was as good as it sounds.

By Saturday we were so tired. Thank goodness we flew home. I was jonesing for my babies and my quiet bedroom.

If we're lucky, the bestie and I will be headed back to Vegas in August for Adele! Fingers crossed!

Film Junkie

2011-06-22T10:00:00.002-07:00

We ditched our cable. Remarkably no one's head has rolled off and the Earth continues to spin. We do have Netflix and two laptops, so this has eased the transition.

Jeff has received his fill of guy movies: Jackass galore, every crappy action flick, etc. B has satiated his need for a daily cartoon fix, which is basically anything that we had on Noggin. I am a documentary junkie and recently have become completely obsessed with old movies. I started with movies from the 50s, like this one.

Then I moved to the 30s.

I have settled into the 20s quite nicely. I am loving the silent movies. The sets, costumes, make-up, theatricality, and even the acting is astounding.

Could Gloria Swanson be more beautiful? Could Rudolph Valentino be more smoldering?

I don't watch many movies over and over, but I can't wait to see Why Change Your Wife? again.

You know how we all have the decade we feel we were born too late for? I belong in the 20s. However, I would definitely bring along my bra.

No rest for the weary

2011-06-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

Kindergarten is komin'

2011-06-20T07:00:00.003-07:00

I realized the other day that B would be going in to Kindergarten in the 2012-2013 school year and after I cried, checked the calendar, flipped through some of his baby pictures, cried, wrote a letter to him in his journal, and then double checked the calendar again, I decided I needed to get my butt in gear on researching schools.

I know, you're saying to yourself: "Keiko, the world is going to end in December 2012. Don't get your pants in a wad now."

Or you might also be saying, "Holy shit, he is going to go to Kindergarten? Didn't he just look like this?"

But you're probably saying something along the lines of, "2012? Like in another year?"

Yes, but long story short we are going to do open enrollment which means turning in paperwork in six months. Plus, Kindergarten registration starts in 7 months.

Obsess much? No, I'm just a teacher. Plus, both my parents are former elementary school principals, so no pressure there, huh?

The intense rounds of discussion with my parents and Jeff have begun. I am looking at schools in the district where I work, which happens to be a different district than where we live. While you might think I am forever stunting my child by having him go out of his neighborhood I will let you know that I went to schools thousands of miles away from my home. Though, that might be fodder for your argument for screwing him up.

Another long story short, since I was in elementary school, my district has developed a variety of options for education and there is no longer huge competition for the coveted "boundary exception".

I'll give them until October to get settled in to this school year, but then I am coming after them with my list of questions, request for tours, and my desire to interview everyone down to the lunch lady.

Guys, I am freaking. Not just because my bug is going to the big K, but also because I feel this massive load of responsibility. I mean, if my dad didn't drag me to the different schools I went to then I wouldn't be friends with half of you nor would I be married to Jeff.

Ohhh, the pressure.

Rescheduling Father's Day

2011-06-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

I am going to circle a petition to change the date of Father's Day. I have reasons.

First of all, my dad's birthday is June 17th, so the poor guy always gets shorted on presents and recognition. Good thing he is a humble man who only asks for gifts like compost makers, Lady Gaga CDs, and lawn blowers. Isn't he adorable?

Second, it falls during my summer break. I am going to be totally honest with you, part of me secretly hates my husband during the time of the year. Since I go from classroom responsibilities to domestic responsibilities in the blink of an eye, there is a bizarre annual paradigm shift in our home. I become the person who does evraythang.

Last summer, when I was nursing a feisty 4-month old and struggling with the whiny demands of a newly minted 4-year old, my darling spouse came home, looked surreptitiously around our home decorated with dirty dishes, overflowing garbage, balled up dirty diapers, and clothing in different stages of decomposition and said, "So what exactly do you do all day?" To this day he denies he ever said that. Liar.

By the end of June we are more settled and in the habit of things, but not before Father's Day.

Trying to work past my resentments, I did resolve feelings of guilt this year by getting him a set of golf clubs.

Back to my petition. I think I want to reschedule Father's Day for the end of February. After all, it's not long after Valentine's Day and my birthday. That way I can assess the caliber of Father's Day celebration for Jeff and my dad based on their overall performance for the month's festivities.

Beyond any perceived bitchiness in this post, I would like to say thank you to my amazing dad and husband for being such fabulous dads.

This picture is tragically awful, but basically my dad took teenagers to Disneyland by himself. Comment dit-on, hero?

Cash was born this way

2011-06-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

My kids looooove Lady Gaga. Bradley asks for her and Cash dances to her.

Eff yeah. Looks like we're all down with Lady Gaga. Jeff is the odd monster out.

Night owl

2011-06-12T00:00:00.003-07:00

I fear I am enabling some awful baby behavior. Cash is a summer-time night owl, like me. Now that I am up until 1am or 2am, I don't see a problem getting him up for a half hour or so while he lolls around his crib, then playing to wear him out.

I know, I am justifying my own self-centeredness. What an awful mom. I am just so freaking fun.

Tonight, we played with the video camera on the Macbook. Apparently the self-centeredness is a family flaw.

LA getaway

2011-06-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

The bestie and I were supposed to go to LA to see Adele, but then she got laryngitis. Story of my life.

We couldn't pass up the great airfare and the plush (free) accommodations with Erin's family in Redondo Beach, so we were off for a couple days of exploring.

After getting to town, Erin's gracious grandmother and great aunt had a lunch spread waiting for us. Then we headed to the beach for a bit.

Along with a fancy hairstyle,

and new friends,

I stumbled upon a local tradition. Apparently getting tar one one's feet is a thing in Redondo Beach. Good thing we didn't vacation on the Gulf beaches.

For dinner, we played a game called, "How much fried shit can I eat?"

Then we made our way to the local Target for all the necessities to unadorn my foot of black goo. (I didn't get a picture of this, but just think of your Target on Black Friday around 2pm and the slowest checkout lady ever, and there you go.)

The next day we were off for some Southern California thrifting. We killed the iPhone, overworking it with directions all over Palos Verdes, Torrance, and Redondo Beach.

Speaking of killing, Erin found a bunch of amazing stuff. I found a whopping one thing, and secretly lusted over every other piece of furniture that would not fit in my luggage.

Oh, the things I could do with these.

Then we stopped for lunch. I would like to take a moment to compliment Southern California for their obsession with hamburgers.

Bacon, avocado, Swiss cheese, and all the fixing. Yes, please!

We wandered around to more thrift stores, and then made our way back to Barbara and Winifred's for the traditional roast dinner.

And some of this.

By the end of the trip I was jonesing in a bad way for these faces.

LA is not my favorite place in the world, so it was nice to finally experience a more laid-back, less pretentious side of the city. The next time I go back, however, I expect Adele to serenade me personally.

Isn't my bestie gorgeous?

2011-06-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

Isn't my brother handsome?

2011-06-05T08:00:00.001-07:00

Aren't my parents precious?

2011-06-04T17:00:00.002-07:00

Aren't my kids adorable?

2011-06-04T08:00:00.001-07:00

(I hope you see my post titles at blogosphere knocks instead of seriousness. But then again, my kids are adorable and my husband is hot.)

Isn't my husband hot?

2011-06-03T17:00:00.000-07:00

Over the next couple days I am going to bombard you with ridiculously amazing pictures.

We take lots of pictures.

2011-06-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

It's the one thing I insist on. And I am willing to pay someone else to do it because I live by the (altered, but very real) mantra of, "If you want something done well, pay the professionals."

The always fabulous Amanda did these for us. And I can't thank her more.

More to come.

Summer time ranting

2011-06-02T22:21:00.000-07:00

I have had a very productive summer so far. I have re-upped my Netflix account and watched Gypsy, The Red Shoes, and Funny Girl. Yes, I am a gay man in a plump female exterior.

I have also read TWO WHOLE BOOKS! Books that were not on my students' summer assignment; books that I am NOT teaching; books I picked from my own personal and incredibly neglected pile off my bedside table.

I first read The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. You should read this. I don't care who you are: you should read this. Now.

Then I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

Yeah, I know. I am the last person on Earth to read this book. I told you, the pile on the bedside table is intense. It was been growing since before Cash was born.

I am about to piss off all of you (seriously, because I haven't met someone who hasn't raved about this book), but I was only meh about it. I mean, this author is a modern incarnation of Herman Melville (serious knock in my book) the way he overdoes every effing detail. I mean, really?? I felt like I needed to take notes as I read. And who needs to know that much shit about Swedish finance?

The story was so buried in extraneous fluff, I was disappointed at the end because I felt like I used waayy to many brain cells to make room for the info-overload.

Don't tell me that I am going to need all the info for the next book, because I haven't decided if I am going to read it. And don't tell me the next one is better, because I might hate you if it isn't.

I did watch the Swedish version of the movie and it was fabulous. Seriously, I really liked it. I liked it more than the book. Let me repeat that, because I don't say it very often: I LIKED THE MOVIE BETTER THAN THE BOOK!

This leads me to my next rant: why in the hell is it being remade? I mean, I am like 80% of the female population and don't mind seeing Daniel Craig strut his stuff, but do Americans/Brits really have to go there? If I were Swedish, I would be pissed. Kind of like how I felt when three-quarters of the actors in Memoirs of a Geisha were Chinese.

I'm really not sure if that comparison actually holds water, considering MOAG was written by this guy:

Clearly not a geisha or Japanese, but then again neither am I.

Hmm, I don't know where I am going with this, so I will just stop.

To summarize

2011-06-02T17:49:00.000-07:00

This is basically a summary of my day, in a minute and a half.

Their reaction is fabulous, as it was the quietest minute and a half of my day.

I have so much to look forward to as they get bigger and capable of more damage.

Memorial Day fun

2011-05-31T09:00:00.004-07:00

God bless Dlisted.com

2011-05-30T21:15:00.005-07:00

I'm feeling good about the cheeseburger I ate last night. As my grandfather would say, she could give a man splinters.

Go here for even more ridiculousness behind this picture.

Prisoner of war

2011-05-30T21:11:00.001-07:00

The pitfalls of being the youngest Dilbeck.

PS- The third part is him getting squirted by a water gun. Please, refrain from calling CPS.

Road trippin'--mining town edition

2011-05-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

We wanted to go somewhere for Memorial Day weekend, but we weren't sure where, how long, and all that jazz. We would just sit home staring at each other unless someone (ahem) planned the vacations, and considering I was wasted from graduation and end-of-year chaosity, it looked likely we were on for an epic staring contest.

My parents called and invited us on a meandering road trip on highways none of us have traveled. My parents would continue on to Tucson, we decided to wait and see where we would end up. Honestly, I'd rather move to Yuma than spend a night in Tucson, but the summer time crazies have hit and I was feeling open to anything.

We got on the road and headed towards Globe.

At the start, there was a lot of this.

We stopped in Superior to check out some antique stores. Cash was just as excited as his dad.

All of the cities we went through used to be busy mining towns, but now they are practically ghost towns. I adore the time machine effect being in these places.

Maybe I don't need a trailer. I could just get an apartment in one of these downtown stretches for $20 a month.

We headed on to Globe and had lunch at one of our favorite places. Seriously, we drive to Globe just to eat here.

I attempted to get a "proof" pic that Jeff and I were together, outside of our home, doing something fun.

We tried.

We continued on to a variety of antique stores. It's hit or miss in this area. Most of them are wannabe antique places--they border more on novelty. Proof: the hat.

We kept driving and meandered down the 77 through foresaken towns and landscape that inspired every freaking Western. I didn't get a lot of those pictures because I was easily entertained by other things.

ewwwwwww

When we got to Oracle, home of the Biosphere 2 and a stone's throw from Tucson, we chickened out and decided to say bye to my parents and go home.

Partly because things went from this

to this.

But mainly because I am a party pooper.

It was nice to get out of town for a few minutes. Next up, the bestie and I are going to LA for an Adele concert and general mischief. Ahhh, summer.

Coupon Confessional

2011-05-27T21:59:00.000-07:00

Guys, I don't know how to say this: I am couponing.

Let me be clear, the boys' closets are not crowded with cereal, I don't have enough tampons to last me through the apocalypse, and I am not pre-ordering pallets of candy and juice.

A lot of this is coming from a place of necessity. You see, at the end of the school year I get one "big" check that is supposed to last me the summer. Not only has my paycheck decreased, but our summer "bonus" is nil. Momma is nervous.

After watching the ridiculous shows on extreme couponing and seeing these people's asinine stockpiles (my favorite is the guy with a wall o' toothpaste), I decided I could at least start saving on things we needed.

I started a little bit here and there, and within the last week I have had some big moments. It culminated tonight when I hit up the grocery store (with only one cart, thank you very much). I offered the woman behind me with a couple items in her hands to go in front of me, but she took one look at my notebook and my envelope of coupons, and said, "No, I'm good. I have to see this."

After everything was scanned, the guy did my coups. When he was done he kept scrolling through the register. He looked at me, he looked at my bags, he looked at the screen. "I don't know why, but you got a lot of stuff for free."

He must not watch that show and he must be new to his job.

Anyway, by the time he printed my receipt the lady behind me was doing the awkwardly-close-in-line-thing. As I was leaving she asked him how much I paid for the cart of groceries.

$26. Boom.

Thanks, Fry's.

I'm coming for you next, Walgreens.

Look what I found.

2011-05-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

I think this will become a series for my thrift store challenge, because the stuff I have found defies imagination.

A classy top...

in the LITTLE GIRL'S section...

with a creepier brand behind it.

Celeste, Rachel, Cassandra...you are the friends with daughters that came to mind. Anyone calling dibs?

Heaven

2011-05-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Mother's Day at my parent's house with my long-lost cousin and her family. (More on said cousin tomorrow.)

There was much eating, catching-up, playing, reminiscing, etc.

At one point I found myself laying on the swing in the backyard with Bradley. All I could see was the blue sky through the branches and leaves of the neighbor's tree. The sky was so blue and the wind sounded like perfection through the tree. I sensed my baby so close to me and we were both quiet and still.

I laid there with him absolutely sure that in that moment I was experiencing heaven. Whatever heaven is, that was it: the smell of his hair, the sound of the wind, the blue brilliance.

That moment of peace was absolutely divine. The timing was magnificent.

Sleeping beauties

2011-05-07T10:00:00.001-07:00

Jeff tells me I sleep the same way.

I am glad I don't have to sleep with me. I don't even know if that makes sense, but you know what I mean.

Reunited

2011-05-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Many moons ago my cousin, Rika, came to live with us from Japan. She didn't speak Engrish very well, so I promptly taught her all the cuss words. (To be fair, when we went to Disneyland she taught me inappropriate phrases to mutter around the Japanese tourists.)

After I returned from England we rented a house together. Some people called it a brothel since we both started dating our now husbands while living there. TMI? I thought we were all adults.

We became really close and she is like a sister to me.

Yelling at me, like always.

Skinny bitch.

FYI, I am 8 months pregnant here and clearly feeling good about being surround by size 2 types.

Then her ridiculously wonderful husband took her away from Arizona and dragged her all over the world while he did super secret missions with the Air Force.

She doesn't come to town very often, but Mark (the ridiculously wonderful husband) and Rika came to town before they move to Virginia. They should be on their way back to Arizona in 3 years. The countdown has commenced.

Haircut Ham

2011-05-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

Cash got a haircut and proceeded to mug for the camera.

His hair reminds me of a senior citizen, former military man after a nap.

I told the chick who cut his hair to cut his bangs just above his eyebrows. Is there another set of eyebrows I am not familiar with?

TSC Outfit #3

2011-04-29T05:00:00.002-07:00

Last one for the week. Erin and I are going shopping this weekend, so maybe I will have something to show you next week.

All of these pictures are taken at the end of the day, which is why my shirts are wrinkled and I don't have much make-up on.

I could look dusty like Jeff, though.

He still looks pretty good like that, though...

Sleepy Cash

2011-04-28T21:36:00.000-07:00

How to calm my weary Cash: exploit his fascination with cameras of all types.

The tent monster

2011-04-28T18:46:00.000-07:00

We are starting to finally get all the new toys out from B's birthday party. There is a threshold I reach before my OCD takes over and new toys are the perfect reason to donate or dump. Considering how much space this monster takes up, I can get rid of a sizable amount of Stuff.

TSC Outfit #2

2011-04-28T05:00:00.001-07:00

I often say, "I don't do pink." Well, I did it.

I found this top on a trip to Savers and thought it would be perfect underneath a jacket I can't seem to coordinate with anything. Turns out this top didn't do the trick either. Instead I threw on a cardigan. God bless, cardigans.

Some of my students convinced me to let them paint my nails to go along with my electric top. Imagine that they found a color that matched my shirt e.x.a.c.t.l.y.

Yes, it is all a bit much. I have met my pink quota for the decade.

TSC Outfit #1

2011-04-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

I know it is not summer, but I got started on my Thrift Store Challenge a little early. You know, just to practice a bit.

I am not trying to look model angsty. That's the look of a mom who is trying to process a teething one year-old, a hungry three year-old, and the pleas of the neighbor kids to check out how high she is climbing in the tree.

I don't have a lot of navy blue in my closet, so I decided to give this navy pencil skirt a go. I can see lots of good things being paired with it. I lucked out with this navy/cream top.

The sleeves are super fun.

Lots of compliments today and I was feeling very professional. These are both very important considering there are 22 freaking days left of school. I can almost taste the summer.

2011-04-25T07:00:00.001-07:00

I rely on certain people to keep me obsessed with random things. That's what my friend, Erin (aka bestie, Reed, Auntie Erin), is for.

Behold my new obsession: Pinterest.

I'd like to invite certain people in my life to this site, particularly the ones who are a bitch to buy gifts for. Basically, this site allows you to "pin" or save picture/sites/information that you come across on the internet. I know there are a lot of sites like this out there, but I like the format of this one. Plus, it allows you to look at what is inspiring other people and repin those items. If you find someone with similar taste in anything, like clothing, food, decor, books, etc. you can follow them.

This site allows me to remember where that Mother's Day gift is that I am going to "subtly" hint to Jeff that I want.

And it remembers where that sweet little upcycled cabinet I want Jeff to make.

Or the valance I need Jeff to cut out for me.

Basically, it is a tool that allows me to continue tormenting my husband.

If you join, let me know so I can follow you.*

*Another thing I love about this place is stalking others is encouraged.

Summer Plans

2011-04-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

We are headed to San Diego this summer! After scrimping and saving we have achieved go-status on a family vacay. I believe we got a great deal and have lots of fun in store for us.

I was able to find a sweet deal on a hotel and ticket deal that allows us unlimited entry for the entire time we are there to Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, and the Wild Animal Park.

I'm super excited. I think this is the first family vacation for just the four of us.

Images from a three-day weekend

2011-04-24T14:25:00.001-07:00

I spent most of my long weekend dealing with a migraine. Bradley was gracious enough to be placated by cartoons and popcorn, while Cash was kind enough to regale me with all sorts of whining and crying associated with teething. It's a good thing the latter is so cute.

Proof.

$10 million dollar question

2011-04-23T21:35:00.001-07:00

After I had B I thought I was done having babies. I didn't mind having an only child because being a mom was harrrrd. Then I was pregnant with Cash and my life changed for the better in a million more ways. When I had Cash, I sat in the hospital and was immediately ready for number 3.

Now I am not so sure. Having two kids is wayyyy harrrrrd.

Jeff and I decided we would put off the baby talk until B is in kindergarten. Mainly because his answer was an emphatic no and I would get annoyed by the finality of his answer. Right now I am firmly planted on the no side, but then cute baby names wiggle in my brain and I see adorable nursery ideas like this.

Damn you Ohdeedoh.

There are plenty of reasons to stay in the no (or not-right-now) category, like diapers, cost of daycare, and the fact that I have c-sections and deal with awful postpartum craziness. But then again, I adore the idea of massive family get-togethers with my boys and their families and cuddly babies (I feel a little gypped with Cash).

Thoughts? People who have more than two, is it more difficult going from two to three?

Thrift Store Challenge 2011

2011-04-20T16:46:00.001-07:00

This summer, the bestie and I have decided to challenge ourselves this summer. We are going to only shop for clothes at thrift stores. Except for shoes and personal items, we are going to lighten up on our wallets and give second hand stores a try. I love going to thrift stores for unique home dec stuff, now I get to expand my shopping options.

This has shades of high school all over it for me. There was a good two years that I wore broken-in jeans, vintage t-shirts, and 70s leather jackets. That was the thing, though.

I kicked off the challenge by stopping by Savers and buying a skirt, a matching shirt, and black blazer. The checkout lady complimented my style, which made me feel like I was off to a good start.

I keenly noted a Goodwill is opening in the same parking lot next month. It's as if the second hand gods are shining down on me.

Master Bedroom, take 20.

2011-04-19T07:00:00.003-07:00

I can't count how many times I have redone my master bedroom. But this certainly is the first time I have been immediately satisfied. I still have a few more pieces to get or delivered in the mail. Until then, here is a sneak peek.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2011-04-18T08:00:00.002-07:00

Today is my mom's birthday. I won't tell you how old she is because you wouldn't believe it. I'll give you a hint: she officially qualifies for social security benefits. Speaking of which, she is taking her benefits to finance her dream car.

It looks something like this.

We celebrated her birthday--and B's--last night at Oregano's. It was graciously financed by my brother's paycheck at his law firm.

Happy birthday, mom! Thank you for teaching me how to be a good mom, shop good sales, how to cuss like a sailor, and a variety of other skills I would no doubt be less of a person for having.

(Sorry, Rika...)

B's birthday party

2011-04-17T19:34:00.001-07:00

Typical...these are about all the pictures I got. There were plenty of adorable little kids running around in costume, too. Here are some pics of B's Halloween themed 4th birthday party.

Happy 4th B!

2011-04-17T08:00:00.001-07:00

This is my first born. This one made me a mother. He still loves to cuddle with me, especially when he is tired or nervous or hungry or cold or wanting to make me feel better. He has many of my mannerisms and verbal intonations. This one is thoughtful, exuberant, and incredibly kind. He thinks he is Spiderman even though he has never seen the movies.

There are no words to express our love for him. He is simply, Bradley.

Happy birthday, Bug-Bug.

Sitting to pee

2011-04-10T20:05:00.001-07:00

B is starting to learn about gender. Specifically, the anatomy that makes us different.

You know that movie Kindergarten Cop ("It's not a tuuumah")? Well, he's like that kid that screams, "Boys have penises and girls have vaginas."

Yesterday, Jeff told him we would go to Home Depot, to which he looked at me and said, "Mommy, you can't go to Home Depot. Only people who have penises can go to Home Depot. Me, Daddy, and Cash can go, but not you."

Sweet. My three--almost four--year-old is pointing out the glass ceiling to me.

Since then it has been a lot of, "Is this a girl or boy doll?" or "Do boys do _______?" My favorite is when I head to the bathroom he tells me to put the seat down because "that is how girls pee".

I am very well aware that I have to tread carefully here. I don't want him thinking that one's gender defines him/her much beyond biology. I guess you could say we are a very progressive family, and this particular area is important for me not to screw up.

Oddly enough I found myself at Lowe's today. I am (finally) redoing our master bedroom and I needed a new staple gun (take THAT gender roles). Like many stores I was baffled by the placement of their merchandise and had to ask a clerk where to find my new toy. Giving me the once over he asked me with a patronizing edge if I needed an electric or handheld one.

Just for gits and shiggles I wanted to tell him that I wanted a pneumatic one for the house I was building with one hand tied behind my back. I was satisfied enough to tell him that I had one at home, I just wanted a small one for my projects that didn't require a massive compressor following me around.

I think he was impressed that I knew what a compressor did. Score one for Team Vagina.