She is my BBF (best bitch forever).
Her name is Erin, or Auntie Erin, or Reed.
Long story short, she has the cance, the big C, or an awesome reason to look in to medical marijuana. Yep, I am talking about cancer. But no worries, because everyone is pleased that it was caught early enough and hasn't spread.
As we sat on my front porch on Halloween, talking shit about my neighbor, complaining about impolite kids, and general nonsense, the conversation always seemed to go back to the cance.
Example: "I am not going to give any candy to kids who don't say, 'Trick or treat'. I mean, c'mon kids, get with the program. So tomorrow you have your chemo port put in?"
Since her diagnosis we've talked a lot about it. Sometimes I think I bring it up too much. And then I think not enough. And then I think I am thinking to much about ME and not enough about HER. And then I feel guilty. And then I realize guilt is something I am feeling and try to empathize and then I think I don't want to let the cancer be the big dumb animal in the back of everything.
Despite the utter stupidity of a 30 year-old with no bad habits getting the cance, we have a very sick sense of humor about the whole thing. I highly encourage it. Erin has thrown around the idea of getting us cuts in line at Ikea pulling the, "I have cancer" line. I have openly drawn the line at cutting my hair if she were to lose hers, but gladly offered up my kids.
One thing that we keep circling back to is people's reactions. As we sat eating as much candy as we were passing out on Halloween, the response "I'm sorry" to her news came up. It's such a bad comeback, one I am guilty of. So we brainstormed a list of responses to shitty news we stumble across in the future.
- "Oh balls."
- "Oh bother."
- "That's what she said."
- "...in bed."
Not a stunning list. But once we had the first two, we were pretty set.
The next few months will be lots of ridiculous stuff for Erin. Hormones. Harvesting (lols). A zillion doctor appointments. Dealing with insurance. Ultrasounds. Scans. Planning lessons for missed classes. Chemo. Radiation. Surgery. Exhaustion. The 40k emotions that go along with What If, Not Knowing, Trusting, and Not Being In Control. Money worries.
And during all of this just trying to simply heal--mentally, emotionally, physically.
If anyone can do it I know she can. I know she will.
In the mean time, send some happy thoughts her way. No need for prayers or sorries. If you know her, send her an inappropriate joke or hilarious video. Help us add to the list of responses for bad news.
In the meantime, stay tuned. I have some things of my sleeve for my bestie. She deserves it.
2 comments:
CANCER SUCKS. It is making me very angry right now. I feel like every time I turn around, it's all up in my grill and splattered all over my windshield. GO AWAY CANCER.
I have a response. You remember that game Taboo? The one with the awesome 90's teal-and-raspberry color scheme? When something happens that I don't like and I don't quite know what to say about it, I just make a sound like a Taboo buzzer.
MMRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
It's very satisfying. Takes people off guard, sure, but once they figure it out, there's big laughter all around. And you will absolutely feel better.
How about "Well, shit!" Very popular in the less populated areas of our country.
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