Disney's life lessons

As B and I celebrated his inability to conform and wear a costume at Renee's Halloween Breakfast Potluck, I learned an important lesson about Disney. I think it is slowly turning my son in to a racist.

In preparing my son's GI tract for ridiculous amounts of candy, I allowed him to indulge in the donuts, cookies, and juice that made up part of the yummy spread. Of course this resulted in the inevitable blow out, so we had to head to the car for a new butt. As we looked both ways to cross the street, B stopped and pointed at the construction workers roofing a new home in the development.


"What the man doing, mama?" he asked.
"The man is building a house," I answered.
"No, mama. what is Manny doing?"

Oh my. I knew exactly what he meant. He saw the Latino/Mexican/Chicano/Hispanic (take your pic) construction worker and assumed he was Manny from Disney's Handy Manny. Those without small children or the desire to numb your brain with children's tv, Manny is a Latino/Mexican/Chicano/Hispanic character who, with his tool box of talking tools (that have fantastically stereotypical accents), do a variety of repairs.

The rest of the time, he would stop and ask, "Where Manny?" And as we left he called, "Bye Manny."

When we returned home, I searched for it in his baby book, but there is no entry for "Baby's First Racist Fumble".

Good news

I stood in line for 3 hours at Walmart (fml) and I got the H1N1 shot. The good news is as of this minute my unborn child has not fallen from my womb or punched through my abdomen Alien style.

I'll let you know if he develops an extra limb after the next ultrasound.

Something fluffy to put my feet on

I made an ottoman from an old coffee table. I am not super crafty, I promise. This was so easy. The hardest part was fighting with the spray glue I used to attach the foam. It was more effective at gluing my fingers together or my flip flop to the ground.

I got the idea here. Clearly her ottaman is more fancified, but I wasn't going to kill myself over something that will have juice and dog slobber on it in about ten minutes.

Garage Mosh Pit

Jeff was playing his "ImsoangryIcanttiemyshoes" music and B was inspired to dance. Rule #1, death to the person who lays down in the mosh pit.

Sensing a trend

Ever since I got my new curtains, I have been going ape-shit over peacock stuff. I love the blue/green combination...it started with my turquoise Vogue glasses and it has bloomed from there.

Jeff think this has made me go over the edge though. I agree... OVER THE EDGE IN FABULOUSNESS!

(Katy, I am so wearing this for pics. We need to work it in to every shot.)

As promised

Living room...see the rug isn't that bad. I am working on an ottoman, too. I have been exceptionally productive this fall break, so I am not going to beat myself up over not finishing it.

Aren't they wonderful?? I loooove them.

Six months. Doesn't this picture scream, "I'm happy to be wearing no make-up, have fluffy hair, and that my husband is taking the picture from an angle that makes me look like an ogre"?

My new trick

One of my favorite crock pot recipes is for a super yummy roast that can be eaten as is or on hamburger buns. It comes from my mom's friend, Glynis: 1/2 cup of water on the bottom, frozen roast (any kind), then mix together a small can of tomato sauce, a package or Lipton Onion Soup mix, and 1/2 cup of brown sugar and pour over roast. Cook for 8-10 hours. My crock pot cooks super hot and I use Splenda brown sugar, so my crock pot is a mess when all is said and done. It usually takes days of soaking (because I don't line it and forget to Pam it). Well, nothing is nastier than greasy water for days, so I looked up ways to clean a crock pot.

Best way ever: Fill pot with 3/4 water, put in 1 cup of vinegar, set for 4 hours and let cool. I'm not going to lie, I poured in two cups of vinegar and let it cook for eight hours overnight. The original plan probably works just fine because most of the major crustiness was already floating around and the small stuff came up with little effort.

I'm not typically a "green cleaner" but this effective use of vinegar made me wonder the other ways people use vinegar. Suggestions?

Leap of faith

I wrote something about religion in our home on the other blog. I am not sure now why I posted it there. Probably because my dad said, "If you want to keep a friend don't talk about religion, politics, or money." A lot of what I write here is for the benefit of my children, so it could be wholly appropriate to post on this blog.

IDK, here is the link.

Updates

I went to the doctor yesterday for a Dos check-up. I have been loving life since I got past week 18 and the horrid cold that made me its bitch. He is so active and in just a couple weeks we've gone from Jeff being able to feel him kicking to phones and remote controls laying on my stomach being rattled. I'll never forget the first time the remote control was kicked off my stomach with B--it was like a poltergeist was in the room. I am more than 23 weeks along, but Dos is measuring 27 weeks. Better him than me. This time around I have only gained nine pounds...as opposed to the 237 I gained with B. Things start picking up with the next appointment: glucose test, scheduling the c-section, and meeting every two weeks. I can't believe it has gone by this fast. Sixteen more weeks to go...

In other news, I found my peacock curtains on Ebay and I am waiting patiently to outbid the highest bidder in the last 30 seconds of the auction. Eight more hours to go...

PS- maybe when I post pics of the living room, I will also sneak in some of my stomach.

Tweeked Living Room...and something else

It isn't a huge change, but I am easily entertained nowadays. Here are the new pieces*. (PS- I am not ready to take pictures because we are still breaking things in, which means B's toys are everywhere, I have stacks of ungraded essays, and we already have crumbs all over the new rug.)

La-Z-Boy sofa and loveseat--ignore the wretched pillows, I am.

Pier One Paisley Rug--it is not this one, on a scale from 1-10 on the paisley the shown rug is a 9, mine is more of a 4.
New curtains that match my red wall so freaking well.

I painted B's table and chairs an olive green that will match colors in the rug.
Here is the cabinet that nearly induced a homicidal rage (see previous blog). We are storing B's toys in bins on it.

Okay, really the only reason I wanted to do this blog is because I wanted to tell everyone how much I really want these curtains for my bedroom. The color makes me happy. Am I crazy?

*BONUS- everything was on sale and/or purchased with coupon. I am so proud of this.

IKEA Hell

We recently bought new sofas, so I've been having fun hitting up Home Goods and Pier One to readjust our decor. We were almost done, but I am hating that kid's crap is overtaking my great room, so we decided to get rid of the toy box and get a small storage shelf for his toys that "blends" with the decor. This meant a trip to Ikea.

Typically when I go to Ikea it is right as it opens and I go with my bestie, Erin. We'll hit up the cheapie breakfast and wander around in relative peace for a couple hours before the masses descend. We learned early on that we never wanted to be there past noon because eventually cheap storage and picture frames are just not worth it.

Today I went to Ikea to make a couple key purchases. I would not wander because a) my bestie is a bitch on a cruise and b) my clock read 1:15pm. I needed a cart which was another shitty part of the day; added baggage means less ability to navigate swiftly through the crowds. By the time I made it to check-out I was proud of myself for not only getting in and out in a timely fashion (20 minutes, thank you) but I had done it without flipping anyone off, ramming my cart into the heels of some moron taking his sweet-ass time, and I had trimmed my purchases down to the bare minimum ignoring a good fifty dollars worth of extra crap.

After I had finished scanning my items, swiping my card, and getting my receipt I turned to see that I had been blocked in my a family with three carts full of items. They stared at me unapologetically when they saw me searching for an escape. I wasn't going anywhere. The lady behind me huffed furiously and when I half-turned thinking I would find someone to sympathize with me, I realized she was eyeing me with disdain. She then leaned over my cart and grabbed the scanning gun and started running her stuff. My middle finger was twitching and four letter words danced at the tip of my tongue. I debated between being passive aggressive and just standing there waiting silently for the herd in front of me to move, or bellow "'Scuse me!" to get out of Huffy McGee's way. But finally, there was enough room that I could squeeze my cart through.

I didn't waste anytime getting to my car. Nor did I waste anytime secretly cursing the man who walked by and said, "Boy that looks heavy," as my pregnant ass dragged a box out of the cart. Furthermore, I was tempted to leave the cart in the middle of the aisle when an SUV driver did the whole "WTF?" hands thrown up at me as I put my cart in the return stall. Cherry on top moment: as I backed my car out, a couple stopped behind me to check their receipt and the people who were walking at the front of my cart openly frowned and put hands on hips when I didn't back out so they could pass by.

Often, Erin and I refer to Ikea as one of the happiest places on Earth. Well, I think we were exaggerating because I have yet to meet a happy person at that effing store. I mean, what is it about a furniture deals that gets people's panties so twisted they are choking on them? What is it about Ikea that brings the snob out? Sometimes I want to scream, "You are buying shitty furniture that is a good sneeze away from water damage! Get over yourself!"

Call now for this limited time offer...

Can I tell you how tired I am of reading blogs of people endorsing the latest, greatest products? I've stopped reading so many blogs--mainly "mommy bloggers"--because it's like a neverending commercial reel. Call me cynical, but I see right through that crap. I'm glad that you have been able to find a way to stay home and make some side cash, but don't expect me to believe that you are so clever and have so much free time that you found are able to find so much fantabulous stuff. That's why this makes me happy.

Oh, man. I need a nap.