Bedtime business

I had the greatest time getting ready for bed with B tonight. Usually Jeff puts him to bed, but tonight he kept asking for me. I got the soul feeling that I would miss something spectacular if I didn't go upstairs with my boy.

First we read. Not just one book, but many books. He loves to pick out books and be read to and ask, "What's that?" eventhough he knows it's a dog/hat/bird. Tonight there were special effects: B hopped with the frogs and I made silly voices on every other page. Then we climbed in bed and played "Eye-Spy", which is just Bradley asking me to tell him what everything is--from the poster on his wall to the fan or my nose. Then we made each other laugh by giving fish kisses and doing staring contests. At one point in time we invited Daddy in to play with us. When it was waaayyy past his bedtime and I was giving him hugs and kisses, he kept trying to pull me into bed. "No mama, no. Stay here."

I am painfully aware that it is the end of the summer. I know what that means. Eventhough he adores his sitter, he will make it clear to me when I leave in the morning by crying and clinging to me, moaning, "Mama" in my ear that I will be missed. I will drive away hating myself a little bit. For the first couple weeks of school I will come home to a frosty welcome, if not be completely ignored. I will miss every second in between that horrid morning good-bye and that disappointing welcoming glance in the afternoon.

It will get better though. Soon enough he will pull me by the hand to the sitter's front door, excited to start his day. And then when I get home, the thrilling "Mama!" and strong hug. He won't leave my side until he goes to bed.

The sharpest part of this whole thing is that this is B and my last summer as a duo. And while I am thrilled at the thought of making B a big brother, I am completely devastated at the thought that our summers of devoted attention to each other will be a bit crowded.

She isn't my favorite, but she hits the nail on the head with this one.