Theater Appreciation, day two

I thought I would get the musicals I am not too fond of out of the way first. I don't suppose these are in any special order, but there is one play I detest more than most for a variety or reasons.

Fame
What a tragedy. This is a great example of when people take good shit (the 1980 movie, NOT the 2008) they love and try to do something "special" with it (read: modernize or reimagine) and they accidentally drop it on the floor, step on it, sneeze on it, and then before they can pick it up the dog poops on it. This is pretty much how I felt about Fame. At one point my friends and I were laughing out loud when we weren't supposed to be. We tried to leave early, but that is a sin. Look at the picture, doesn't it make you feel lame and tacky just looking at it?


Starlight Express
As you can probably tell from this picture this is the most asinine, ridiculous musical. You know when old people say really silly, off-the-wall things and you get a little embarrassed for them even though you know they could give a rat's ass about looking the fool? That's how this play is for me. Let me summarize: actors sing and dance and roller skate. No, I didn't just have a goober seizure, I said roller skate. Why do they roller skate, Keiko? Because they are TRAINS! I saw this play in Vegas where the theater was built for it, so actors were skating all around the fucking place. I wanted to tackle one of them so bad; it would have made sitting there for those hours worth it.


Camelot
What a snoozefest. This play clearly appeals to a certain generation. It reeks of cabbage, Depends, and Bengay for miles around the auditorium when this play comes to town. Another play I considered walking out on. The basics: You know about King Arthur and his slutty wife and frenemy Lancelot? Yeah, the story hasn't changed.


Les Miserables
It's not that I don't like this play, I just reaaaaalllly have to be in the mood to see it. In fact, after seeing it twice, I don't think I need to see it again. There are like nintey different plot lines, so it is difficult to summarize concisely. Mainly it is about this small time criminal who breaks parole, makes a life for himself, but his past catches up with him. Redemption, taking a stand, bravery blahblahblah. I get it, everyone's life basically sucks. It's a long and intense play, but the music is outstanding. You really have to be a hardcore theater-goer or Les Mis-aholic to sit through this and remember the last act.


Cats
I have been told that I should be ashamed for not liking this play. Whatever. This play can kiss my ass. First of all, I think Andrew Lloyd Webber is a whackjob. He can write awesome music, but what the HELL is happening in his plays? (Starlight Express is one of his too.) Basically, a bunch of actors sing and dance and act like cats. Again, no goober seizure, actors are pantomiming cleaning or scratching their cat ears, cuddling with their kitty friends, and even arching their backs to stretch. The reason this play is somewhat unintelligible is because it comes from TS Eliot's writings--nuff said. I admire the music in this show and even the dedication of some of the performers. However, if a particular company went the extra mile and an actor hiked his leg up by his ear and pantomimed licking his ass like every freaking cat I have ever met, well then I will take back my Boo award for this play.

Another reason I am not a fan of this play is because it broke my favorite play's streak as the longest running show. I will let you know what play that is tomorrow.*

*Barring any household disasters.